By Warren Ellis
Burned-out deepest dick Michael McGill must jump-start his profession. What he will get as a substitute is a livestock prod to the crotch. The president's heroin-addicted leader of employees desires McGill to discover the Constitution—the genuine one the Founding Fathers secretly devised throughout the time of gravest main issue. And with God, civility, and Mom's do-it-yourself apple pie already lifeless or loss of life, that point is now. yet McGill has a expertise for stumbling into each that you can think of depravity—and this situation is riding him even deeper into America's darkest, dankest underbelly, towards obscenities that boggle even his brain.
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Additional resources for Crooked Little Vein: A Novel
Whoever made it had gotten all their knowledge of the written word through cave painting. A legless guy on the corner, perched on an ancient diarrhea-stained skateboard, watched me as I kind of bent to the side and squinted at the sign, struggling to translate it. The word NULL was clear. The other major term seemed to be MHP BUKKAKE. Bukkake, whatever it was, appeared to be hip among the young folk of today. So, like an idiot, I went in. The hall was lit by a single lamp with a green shade, turning everything the color of snot.
Only the usual stuff about poisoning them with infected blankets. ” There was almost a frown there. ” “I’m sorry,” I said. It came out of me without really thinking. I suddenly didn’t want to spoil her and her zone of no-tension. “The Native American shamans,” she said, “listened for the future in the sound of horses. They divined it, from the patterns of hoofbeats. They would sit like this, and just listen. In those days, horses were the sound of 21 WARREN ELLIS their world, the true sound of motion, and they believed that their movement through time let in leakages of the future.
Sweat glittered on his forehead. ” “No, it’s . . ” I wasn’t going to admit I didn’t know what bukkake was, since it was so obviously a badge of the cool. He smiled in the dark, showing me teeth that would’ve made Shane MacGowan puke. “You didn’t know we got a word now? Damn, you’ve been away, dude. Macroherpetophile. Herpetophile, for people who, you know, like lizards. Like lizards. And macro for like, big, large scale. So, like, people who . ” People who want to fuck Godzilla. The sound track erupted with a roar mixed with an aggressive orgasm, and his beady eyes snapped back to 35 WARREN ELLIS the screen.