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Brilliant NLP : what the most successful people know, do and by David Molden; Pat Hutchinson

By David Molden; Pat Hutchinson

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Extra resources for Brilliant NLP : what the most successful people know, do and say

Sample text

The mismatching of intrinsic values is a very common cause of misunderstanding, stress and conflict in life. When people speak of a ‘personality clash’, it is invariably a mismatch of values or misunderstanding of metaprogrammes. For example, many relationships break down because of a mismatch of the in-time and thru-time programmes. As one partner is ready and waiting to set off to go out for a meal with friends, for example, the other is still chatting on the telephone, showing no sense of urgency.

All stores were different and the plan was subject to variation according to space availability, shape and depth of shelves and product availability. Tamara’s store was particularly small compared with the others in the chain, so she regularly had to flex the plan, such that it didn’t always resemble the diagram she was following. It didn’t matter how often she was told by others that her display was excellent, if it didn’t match the diagram, Tamara would not be satisfied and she would be constantly attending to details in an attempt to get closer to the plan.

We’re not saying that all beliefs are wrong or inappropriate, but, rather, that it is good to test them to see if they are acting as a barrier or limitation. Once you have formed a belief, it can become self-fulfilling in that others behave in a way that is expected of them. For example, if Johnny believes that Mum anticipates him being late, then he will develop the habit. If you regularly tell Johnny that he is lazy, he will prove you right. Holding a limiting belief is like wearing blinkers – you see only what you expect to see and block out counter-evidence.

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